In the wake of everything that has happened with Langdon this week, I have been thinking about God's Sovereignty. In our Sunday School class the past few weeks, we have been discussing God's Sovereignty versus man's responsibility. The question has been posed: "Do you really want God to be in charge?" There have been alot of different answers to that question. Many have admitted that this is a real struggle for them and they want to be the ones in charge. And I believe that we all want this to a certain extent, but my answer was that I really don't want to be in control - I'm a mess and would screw up.
Gary and I were talking when we got home from the hospital. The truth is that Langdon survived because God is in control (and not me). But, the reality is that Langdon may have died, and that would have been the decision of a sovereign God. To desire God's control is to desire it even when it hurts.
I read this blog post this morning and thought that it sums up my internal struggle.